Grains Of Sand
by aiko blaze
Summary: Gaara is able to do amazing things with mere grains of sand, but can they help with matters of the heart?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to ****Masashi Kishimoto**

Grain of sand

Prologue:

So small so insignificant, so common with in the desert where the sun is radiating such heat that no one contemplates what tiny grains of sand can do...

Unless you happen to be the 16 year old kazakage with bright crimson hair. He vows to use these useless grains to protect those he cherishes. Someone who once was feared of because the blood he could shed with _harmless _grains.

Someone who has managed to change his one twisted soul and revert it back to what it was before the tragic death of his uncle. Someone who once killed to feel the sensation of being alive, although now protects everyone he considers precious even those who once shunned him.

This young man, Gaara of the Desert has faced so much and has achieved in what he has set out to do, with the help of grains of sand, but can grains help him when strange new emotions start to stir with in for a mousy haired student?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto

Authors note: sorry if Gaara sounds bit occ, this is my first ever fan fiction so please if you have any constructed criticisms I would like to hear them.

Chapter 1

Gaara P.O.V

Bright illuminating light of the full moon shining through my single office window softly lighting up my face as I look up. To think me the once blood thirsty savage Gaara of the Desert, are who the people of my village look up to, to safe guard and protect them from outside threats. How they have found it within their souls to trust me (and as my experience of death have shown me) and even love me I will never know, but unlike many times before this is not the question plaguing my mind.

I remember back to when the Shukaku once resided within me how I would look up to the full moon as if it has all the answers and ask why…why me? What did I do to deserve a terrible demon to live inside of me and be hated by everyone around me, even my own siblings? To think in here again with just as much confusion but a different question….what? What is this feeling? What has Matsuri stirred up from within my very soul?

These strange feelings all seemed to surface a month ago when I was in one of the few training sessions that I had time to spear to my former student. Ever since I reached my goal of becoming the 4th Kazakage I haven't been able to train with her due to the responsibility I now have in attending council meetings, and the mountain high paperwork I must get through every day, so when I do have time for Matsuri I take it …

Flash Back

_The air was cool and calming against my hot sweaty skin the wind blowing by just loud enough to be heard over my shallow breathing other than that there wasn't a sound in till…_

"_ouch" I heard Matsuri yelp from behind me her mousey brown hair sticking to her forehead evidence to the grueling 2 hour training session we just had. I must admit that Matsuri had improved greatly and will be ready for the hardships of the chunin exam in just a short amount of time._

"_What's wrong?" I replied keeping my voice clam and face devoid of emotion to hide the creeping concern that was creeping its way in._

"_Oh I'm sorry Lord Gaara I only cut my finger on my rope javelin. Ha to think I've been training with this very weapon since the day you took me under as your student, and I managed to still cause damage however meager to myself. Look! I'm so clumsy its even deep enough that it's bleeding! How embarrassing" She babbles with a sad tone and a light pink blush of embarrassment evident on her soft tanned cheeks, while holding out her slim bloodied finger. Just looking at her finger brought the feeling of nostalgia, back to when Yashamaru cut his finger to describe pain and love to me as a young child._

_Next thing I know is that I have put her finger within my mouth just like I did with Yashamaru….What am I doing? By the look of Matsuri's bewildered expression she was thinking the same thing._

"_U um L lord G Gaara" she stutters face red almost as crimson as my own hair. I slowly took her finger out of my mouth almost reluctantly and mumble an apology. Then I left. I left without looking back or saying a word, not even to see if she had anything to say. What was the point? I wouldn't hear her over the pounding of my heart….._

End flash back

Even now I can't make eye contact with her without the same reaction; I have even gone as far as to avoid her. The whole thing is frustrating, but I can't let that show as certain individuals could interpret it as a weakness to use against me and my village. My village a golden sea of sand which from a far could be mistaken for glittering specks of gold. My village which has the warmth of the glowing sun shining over it, as if it was heavens favorite. But most importantly my village which holds my precious ones, and it is to protect my precious ones that I most figure out what this feeling could mean…..but how?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto**

**Authors note: sorry it has taken me a while to update. I haven't been able to get a chance to get near a computer. Also thank you to those that have reviewed! I can't tell you how ecstatic I was that someone took the time to do so.**

Chapter 2:

Matsuri's P.O.V

Tossing and turning within my soft cotton sheets of my bed, unable to become comfortable and lose myself in seas of dreams...where reality doesn't apply or even exist. Finally I give up and just settle down and stare at the off white ceiling of my small square bedroom of my apartment. It's nothing special, but it's enough. I'm the only one living in this place anyway, so it doesn't need to be big. It's just me...all alone...

It's bitterly funny to think that when i was small child i never ever felt alone, I always felt safe and secure like someone was watching over me always. Although considering how my parents were insanely over protective of me, so protective that we didn't even live within the centre of the village, but the outskirts instead (they didn't really trust the safety of the village). I did ask them on numerous accounts why, but the only answer I got was the powerful, dangerous monsters lived there. Thinking back it was probably them just trying to sate my curiosity to keep me away, scare me away, to stop me from sneaking out. But i do wonder – after hearing how the villages used to call our beloved kazakage a monster- if they were referring to Lord Gaara?

At the mere thought I vigorously shake that evil idea out of my mind, as if it was the most diabolical thing in which needed to be eradicated immediately without hesitation! I simply refuse to believe that my parents could feel the same way of Lord Gaara. He was after all only a child when my parents were alive. The very thought was preposterous! One of the few things I remember of my parent's ethics- before their tragic deaths-was that all children were innocent. A gist bestowed upon humanity that should never be looked at with unkind eyes or hatred, but cherished and showered with love. If anything (knowing my mother especially) they would be turning in their graves that somewhere someone would willingly place a murderous demon within their own unborn child!

How did Lord Gaara cope with it all? Was he ever happy? Did he ever have reason to smile? Was he always so quiet and reserved as he is now? Of what I have heard from whispers of the village people when Lord Gaara was my sensei, and the small bits of information Tameri sensei has told me regarding lord Gaara's past was that he did indeed kill for pleasure (Something about feeling the sensation of being alive). After the constant insistence from everyone around him that he was the monster they claimed, he became one...But something about his eyes, his beautiful jade eyes that are as calm as the ocean on a summer's day, that just scream innocence. Lord Gaara has eyes that have seen so much pain, abuse, suffering, bloodshed yet still holds the innocent curiosity of a small child. A child which hides behind the neutral expression just waiting to come out... How cute!

Sigh. Lord Gaara the first and only man that my heart has ever desired, the only man to make me go weak at the knees with just a single glance, the only man I have ever fallen in love with... the man I can never have. Damn it I'm so stupid! Deluding myself with this feeling as if I had a chance, look at me!

Weak genin

Boring mousy hair cut

Lacks the confidence of a true ninja

And worsted of all I'm 17 already I should have achieved more in my life by now.

Then there's Lord Gaara:

Handsome

Strong

Powerful

Patient

Kind

He's 16 and kazakage and most of all after everything he still has the will power to go on...

Now someone like that deserves the most enchanting, beautiful woman who is their equal in every way... Not a girl like me who still cry's over her parent's death, even though it happened years ago...

At least I can still pretend in my dreams... that is if I could sleep! But no. I haven't slept properly in at least a month. Grabbing my pillow from under my head to place it on top of my head, covering my face to soften the sound of the scream escaping my lips. Why was everything so complicated? Ever since the incident at the training session I have had the feeling that Lord Gaara has been avoiding me every time I've been in the same location as him. While to make it worse i still can't get the events that transpired out of my head. I swear my heart was literally pounding against my chest (I'm surprised lord Gaara couldn't hear it) like the wings of a humming bird in mid flight! What really got my heart pounding wasn't that my injured finger was inside of Lord Gaara's mouth (of his own occurred) but the look of his face. It was the first time I saw him without all his walls up... It was at that moment that I saw more emotion from Lord Gaara then I had in the 3 years of knowing him. I saw emotions ranging from confusion, briefly joy and what was most heart breaking was the sheer amount of sadness, loneliness and...Betrayal? It felt like I was seeing Lord Gaara for the very first time! But in the end, it ended with Lord Gaara leaving without a word in fact till this day we haven't even conversed, not even a standard good morning.

Am I that Bad to be around? Does he regret it? Ugh! The unbelievable joys of unrequited love...

For a while I just laid there having those hazardous thoughts swirl around my mind. No wonder I can't sleep! I've tried to tell myself it doesn't bother me, why try? Yet I can't continue to wonder (especially after what happened at training) what if?... Ok right that's it I'm going to confess my feelings to Lord Gaara. Even though he probably doesn't feel the same way, at least i can hear it from him and hopefully be able to move on with my life, but i don't really want to be rejected. I don't think I could cope. After about an hour of arguing with myself- I must be going crazy- I have convinced myself to tell him. How? I don't know, but I will. And with that thought I finally am able to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Authors note: Again I've taken forever to update and am deeply sorry! I've been studying for my GCSE's and to be completely honest the chapter I had planned next originally I didn't like at all. Luckily I had a talk with my friend who sparked an idea into my head which I liked. I hope you like the chapter.**

Chapter 3:

Matsuri's P.O.V

I woke up completely ready for my training session with Lord Gaara, but still a little apprehensive on confessing to him. Literally I got into a huge state practicing as I got ready for the day what I was going to say to him, wondering how he would react, but it seems that (fortunately or unfortunately for me) Sari had other ideas. She came barging into my home shouting at the top of her longs to follow her and that we had a mission to complete. Sari not being the most patient of people decided that I didn't answer her fast enough, marched over to me grabbing my arm, yanking me out of my home. All this and she didn't even explain the mission to me yet. In the end I had to forcibly pull my arm away from her and asked in a calm-but obviously annoyed –voice, what was the mission?

Explaining at the speed of light she told me that I, she and Ittetsu were to deliver a scroll to the leaf village. Apparently the scroll hold's secret information regarding old minions of Orochimaru who have recently came out of hiding and are causing havoc somewhere that even we weren't told about, neither were we told about what they were up to either.

Currently we were walking down a familiar path which I remembered from my last trip to the leaf when I first became Lord Gaara's student. The day he first saved me. Sigh…this is no time to be thinking about this not when I'm on a mission! And how right I was seemingly out of nowhere 3 ninja- from the now mostly abandoned sound village- were standing in our way demanding the scroll. Whatever was in there they must really want. To ensure the safety of the scroll Ittetsu ordered Sari to go ahead and for us to distract the sound scum from her.

Ittetsu was holding them off with his Kusari-fundo while my hand starts edging towards my rope javelin ready to strike them, keeping them still for Ittetsu. As my hand was about to grab it I feel a sharp pain at the back of my head. It was absolutely excruciating. My hearing dimmed considerably, my vision blurred. I turned my head to see that there was a fourth ninja that must have been hidden at first with a club in his hand still attached to the back of my head. Then it all went blank….

Ittetsu P.O.V

When Matsuri was struck all the sound ninja suddenly vanished into thin air almost like that this whole ambush was just to get to Matsuri, but why? What was so significant about her? She wasn't a threat to them, not really. Matsuri is good, loyal ninja who would die for her village, yet she isn't the strongest of ninja…more average then anything.

Shaking my head willing my legs to rush over to her and see what condition she was in. As I approached her I saw blood seeping through her hair staining the ground crimson red "damn it!" I shout to myself. I'm no medical ninja but I can tell this is serious and needs attention straight away or she was going to die. I couldn't let that happen! Not only was she my team mate and a friend at that, but she was Lord Kazakage's only student, and it didn't take a genius to work out that he cared greatly for Matsuri. The nature of his care was still a mystery to me, although from how Matsuri acts around the Lord it's plain to see that she sees him romantically.

Speaking into the communicator requesting a medical team immediately I wait desperately trying to stop the bleeding with a torn piece of fabric from my uniform, after what seemed like eternity a medical team showed up pushing aside to examine the seriousness of Matsuri's head wound. Yelling to them begging to tell me if she will be alright they reply "this is a Sevier head wound. From what we can deduct by her lack of response we believe she has slipped into a coma, possible brain damage but we need to take her back to the village to be sure" " will she be alright" I asked. "Again we can't be sure in till we are back to the village where are equipment is. We will need to do a full check up on her vitals as well to get a more accurate deduction of her condition. For all we Know she may never wake up" with that said I watch as the medical ninja take her limp body and place it onto the stretcher taking her away. All that was going through my head was what they had told me _"she may never wakeup"….._

**End note: sorry about the confrontation with the sound ninja I know I didn't go into loads of detail, but I really am not confident at writing fight scenes…sorry! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Authors note: Again I've taken forever to update and am deeply sorry! I've been studying for my GCSE's and to be completely honest the chapter I had planned next originally I didn't like at all. Luckily I had a talk with my friend who sparked an idea into my head which I liked. I hope you like the chapter.**

Chapter 4:

Gaara P.O.V

How? How had this possibly happened? How can an average day suddenly transform into living hell?

My day started as any other, starting with a dull council meeting which I am continuously under minded despite my role as kazakage. Most of this is due to my past, but even I wonder how the council doesn't trust I will defend the village with my life (considering I have already). Sometimes I think it's the fates testing me and how long my patients will last, although from what I hear of Naruto- who is now hokage- he doesn't seem to have nearly as much trouble. At least since my revival I have added Kankuro onto the council, and Baki was already on there, so I have some people who I trust to back me up when having heated disputes with the other members. Today's meeting was on some political matter which wasn't of any importance that needed my undivided attention, so I used the time on a more pressing matter. My feelings over Matsuri…

The night before the meeting I decided to ask for advice to see if Kankuro would know what was happening to me concerning Matsuri, What he told me was not what I was expecting.

_Flash back_

_The heat of the kazakage building which my sibling and I reside warms the depths of my body, welcoming me home with open arms. After a minute of just standing still embracing the warmth which chases the cold of the night from my pale flesh I make a hasty b-line to my older brother's room. I may be the kazakage which must attend important event with thousands of shinobi's and civilians alike, but when it comes to interaction with others my brother is the true expert. As I approach his room his door swings open, Kankuro with a huge smile spreading across his face…what is he so joyful about?_

"_Oh hey Gaara whats up?" Kankuro greets surprised to see me. "I live here" I replied casually, but with my forehead slightly creased with confusion. What a strange question to ask. "I know that I mean what are you doing outside my bedroom?" He questions me. "I needed some advice, but I'm curious why you are so happy?" "oh I just managed to get Kimi to agree to go out with me tomorrow night, and what a beauty she is as well" Kimi? Just the other night he was out with a girl named …kikyo I think. "Any way little brother what do you need advice on?" I open my mouth but nothing is coming out I didn't think it would be so difficult to talk to my own brother…"well Gaara what is it" "I-It's Matsuri" did I just stutter? "What about her?" I turn my head away not making eye contact suddenly feeling vunrable"I don't know how to describe it but every time I see her my heart just starts pounding in my chest, I cant get her face out of my head and all I know is that it is distracting me from my duties of kazakage I need to know what has caused this reaction from me" patiently I wait for the sound of kankuro's voice, but nothing came. Slowly I lift my head to look at Kankuro to see what was wrong with him. What I see is not what I expected his eyes were glued to me, he wasn't even blinking, standing still, holding his breath… "Kankuro?" almost like the sound of my voice snapped him back to reality he starts blinking and gaping like a fish, trying to find words, after a moment he regains his composure. "No way, no way are you serious Gaara and your telling me you don't know what all those things me?" "Kankuro I do not understand what you are going on about?" why would I lie? "Gaara it sounds to me that you like Matsuri" "of cause I do she is my student…my friend" I'm starting to doubt my decision in asking help from Kankuro. "No that's not what I mean, I mean that you like her more then a friend, you know" "No I don't know. Just tell me" I'm starting to get inpatient with this. "Your right with the way you described your feelings like isn't the best word to use. What I'm trying to tell you is that I think you might be in love with her"… "Gaara are you alright" I'm in love with her could that be possible, how could it be possible? She is my student ... my friend. But something inside me tells me that what my brother says is true, but 'I'm too shocked to move. My head is spinning. How could someone like me fall in love? And the most prominent thought in my head is …does she live me?_

_End flash back._

Even know I can not believe it and now looking back I feel ashamed with myself with how I've treated Matsuri… yet I cant help but think what was I goi8ng to do? If someone knew I had a special someone, they would do everything in there power to harm them to get to me. They could hold her against me to get to my village; I can't let that happen…

"LORD KAZAKAGE!" an ear bleeding scream awakens me from my musings while slamming the door open. To do such a thing during a meeting no matter how insignificant it was must mean something terrible has occurred. "What is it?" I ask calmly but within I was shaken up what could possibly be so bad? "The squad taking the Scroll to the leaf were ambushed by sound ninja!" that's the squad Matsuri is on "is the scroll safe" one of my councilmen interjected as if that was all that mattered." Yes the scroll is safe Sari was able to run to the leaf with the scroll while the other two distracted the sound ninja b-" "So whats the big problem" the same councilmen interrupted, if he wanted to know he should let the young man finish his sentence. "Carry one" I encouraged the young ninja. "The scroll is safe and so is Ittetsu but Matsuri your student my Lord has severe head injuries and there is a possibility that she is in a coma she will never wake up from. The medical ninja have taken her to the medic bay to run some tests" before I knew what I was doing I rushed out the room as fast as my legs would allow.

All that I could think was that I was going to loose her…


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Authors note: I know I haven't updated in ages, but here is the next chapter so please review and give any constructive criticism to help me improve. I hope you enjoy.**

Gaara P.O.V:

She was so still. Her chest was just barely rising as she inhaled and exhaled through the oxygen mask they had placed upon her, and bandages were wrapped around her head tightly. She looked dead. It was a heart wrenching sight to say the least. I am the Kazakage, who had promised to protect those dear to me, and one of my most precious ones was in a coma for an unknown period of time and even now when I am here I am powerless to help her. Something wet was sliding down my cheek. A tear, lifter my hand up to wipe it away before anyone notices as it would cause them to see me vulnerable which would cause doubt within their minds to whether I can protect this village. When most people sleep they seem to be in peace as if all their worries were washed away, never even existing in the first place, but Matsuri didn't look at peace she resembled that of a doll. It was as if that spark of life and energy she possessed was gone, never to return. This is what pained me the most.

"Gaara" I turn round to see my brother leaning in the doorway of Matsuri's hospital room his face spoke of concern as his eye brows were drawn together and his eyes soft.

"Yes Kankuro?"

"I spoke to the medical ninja" he said slowly almost hesitantly. I new this was going to be something I wanted to hear. With a deep sigh I asked him about it any way.

"What did they say?" I could tell that my composure had slightly cracked with emotion.

"She is stabilized and there is no brain damage, but also no signs to when or if she'll wake up" His head was turned away from like he was guilty even though he had no part in what happened.

My eyes reverted back to my precious person laying still my eyes staring inensly at her sleeping form unwilling to let my gaze waver.

"Staring won't make her wake up faster Gaara"

"I know but it is all I am able to do" even as I replied my gaze was fixed upon Matsuri. I didn't want to miss anything just in case she would awaken again. Kankuro's firm hand rested upon my shoulder in a comforting manor and I her a his voice it was soft almost soothing as if he was talking to a scared child.

"She's going to wake up" that is all he said and that was I needed to hear at this moment in time. I needed that hope.

"You know Gaara they say that people can still hear you when they are in Matsuri's state so why don't you talk to her maybe the sound of your voice will help guide her back to consciousness." And with that Kankuro left me with alone with my thoughts.

Maybe Kankuro is right if she could hear me and I tell her how much I need her then maybe she will wake up… But how would I tell her? I've never been in a situation like this before and being open with my emotions has never been my strong point either. I might as well try. Sitting in the chair beside Matsuri's bed I take a moment to look at her smooth tanned skin and by my hand's own accord I genteelly caressed her cheek. Her skin was so soft almost like silk I wonder if she would let me touch her like this if she were awake. At that thought I diverted from my musings to do what I planned on doing.

"Matsuri… I" what am I going to say to her? How could I possibly tell her how much she meant to me? I'm sure Naruto would know what to say. That's when I got an idea.

"When I was younger I didn't care for anyone, only for myself, but then I met someone. Some one who taught me the importance of having people you care about, and how protecting those people you hold dear to you will make you stronger. And now I myself have precious people I refuse to lose any of them, so that's why you have to wake up" Still no reaction. It was getting late and I needed to talk to the council first thing in the morning and I know they wouldn't take kindly to me attending with out a sharp mind, also we needed to figure out what those rogues are planning so we could stop them. So with one more look towards Matsuri I exited her room. I still couldn't figure out why they would target Matsuri that is the main question I will be '_asking'_ the sound when we confront them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Authors note: Please review and give any constructive criticism to help me improve. I hope you enjoy.**

Gaara P.O.V

The meeting was productive as we had gotten a word from the leaf that they held captive one of the rouges, and were in the process of interrogating him for information. They had Ibiki Morino in charge. I remember him from the chunin exams, I also remember his mind game which the leaf must consider an asset when confronted with the enemy. Already they managed to gain information on why they let the scroll get away from them; apparently they weren't after the scroll in the fast place. They attacked and wanted to make a statement, and what better way then almost killing the kazakage's student. They wanted to show that we should not take them lightly, because even after Orochimaru's death they are still loyal servants who still follow his beliefs and views on how the world should be. I almost felt pity for these people as they have been brainwashed by that evil man to the point they believe every word Orochimaru has ever whispered into their ears, but they hurt Matsuri and for that I will not be merciful towards them. I may not be the same person I once was yet I still retain a dark side to me, a dark side which doesn't take kindly to people who believe they have the right to hurt those who are precious to me. Naruto-the new hokage- has sent out some of his anbu to look for the remaining rouges. The councillors and I have all agreed that we too should send out some of our anbu to assist the leaf as it was one of our own who was harmed. In the meeting we also discussed how we will confront the rouges when they are captured. The leaf thought it best that they were imprisoned and despite the urge I have to crush them, I know that the leaf are right. But if I were to come face to face to the sound and we engaged in battle I wasn't keeping any promises. The councillor's on the other hand thought that compensation was in order and they wanted to watch the rouges scream in pain from torture. They said it would be justice considering that one of their own was now in comatosed state, but I could tell that they were more concerned over the _'embarrassment' _of one of the sands ninja's was taken down by a mere rouge. I hated the old prunes that called themselves councilmen who are meant to want to safe guard the people, but in the end all they care about is their own image. It infuriated me, although I kept my composure through the meeting.

So now all we could do was wait in till the anbu come back with either information or the rouges themselves, so with the meeting pretty much over and my paper work already done- Kankuro did it as a favour to me last night- I went to Matsuri's room in the hospital. Maybe today she would wake up.

Sari P.O.V

The Hokage of Konohagakure was extremely attentive to me, escorting me personally to the famous Sakura Haruno to check me over for possible wounds that I may have gotten when I was escaping from the rouges to give the scroll to the leaf. His Girlfriend the Huuga heir- Hinata- was very comforting when news reached that Matsuri was in a coma due to her battle with the rouges. I just remember feeling so guilty that I was able to be here safe and sound while she was hurt in order for me to get here safe and sound, but Hinata told me that I shouldn't worry because she did what any good ninja would have done and that I was only following orders. Shikamaru Nara (the one that Temari sensei speaks of often fondly) was ordered to show me around the village, although his lazy attitude did confuse me a little, as he is meant to be a highly spoken of ninja. I really did enjoy my time at the leaf village.

But now I have just returned home to Sunagakure, anxious to visit my best friend in the hospital. I literally ran through the desert barging civilians out of my way as the dire need to be with my friend started to become overwhelming. 15 minutes and a lot of angry civilians glaring daggers at me later I was at the hospital standing outside Matsuri's window where I saw a sight that I wasn't expecting at all…

Lord Gaara was sitting on a chair next to her bed his hand gripping her and his gaze not wavering from her face, almost as if she would vanish if he looked away just for one moment. I have never seen our lord look so, so… I don't even know how to describe this. He just never really had much physical contact with anyone as far as I am aware of. Despite my fierce love and respect I had for my Kazakage the need to see my friend surpassed all that so instead of waiting for him to leave when he was finished, I just waltz right in. At the sound of my footsteps his hand pulled away from Matsuri's, but his gaze remained on her.

"Hello Lord Kazakage I'm sorry for the intrusion, but I really needed to see Matsuri. How is she doing? Any chance she will wake up?" I asked him. But he didn't answer he just continued to stare at Matsuri's sleeping form, but I noticed that his eyes looked saddened.

"I take that as a no" My eyes started to prick with tears as the weight of the situation just hit me. I was losing my best friend.

"There is a chance she will wake up" my head snapped up at the smooth raspy voice of my Kazakage. He still didn't look at me. He didn't pay attention to my presence after he said that. It's like Matsuri is the only thing in the world that matters. That is worth his time, and I know that she was his first student, but I couldn't help but think that this… devotion to her wasn't that of what a sensei feels for a student. No. This was the sort of devotion that someone held only for their most important of people. It was at that moment I realised my love for him was unrequited.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Authors note: Please review and give any constructive criticism to help me improve. I hope you enjoy.**

Gaara P.O.V

It has been two weeks and there still hasn't been any change in Matsuri's condition, although there had been a break through concerning the rouges. One of anbu was able to come into contact with one of them, and the sound ninja made the mistake of attacking _'unfortunately' _resulting in his death. There was only one of the rouges left to capture before my mind can release some of its stress. Between paper work, council meetings, and visiting Matsuri I haven't been given the chance to get much rest, and because I no longer possess the Shukaku I am unable to stay up all night.

Even if I did get myself to bed I wouldn't be able to sleep as thoughts of Matsuri plagued my mind, causing me to want to be at her side. That's were I spend most of my nights now. Sometimes Sari is there but she has given up on trying communicating with me as generally I'm too focussed on Matsuri. I just sit with her I haven't tried to talk to her since the first day I visited her in the hospital. Both Kankuro and Temari have indicated how worried they are for me, they say that obsessing over Matsuri and spending too much of my free time just watching her isn't healthy. Temari actually sat me down and we had a discussion about it…

_Flashback._

_My sister and I were in my office. She was just sitting there with nothing better to do then see how I was doing, and occasionally helping with sorting the paperwork._

"_Gaara" Came the sound of my older sister's voice._

"_Hm" was my only reply. Despite the fact that me and my siblings have gotten closer over the years I still found it harder to have a conversation with her then Kankuro, because it always makes me feel guilty. Temari was old enough to remember our mother, and subsequently her death and I know she doesn't blame me but our father I still can't help but feel responsible for the pain she must harbour. _

"_Listen I know I haven't always been there for you when you needed me especially when we were kids, but I'm here for you now and… well watching over her as much as you do well can't you see that it's not good for you" She waited for my reaction but I didn't give her one._

"_Gaara please I know how you feel for her. Kankuro told me, but you have to face the facts that she may never wake up… Gaara are you going to say anything to me?" I didn't want to talk to her, I didn't want to listen to her, and I didn't want to accept what she said._

"_Leave me be"_

"_But Gaara"_

"_Temari just leave me"_

"_Fine but please at least try and take better care of your self" and with that she left._

End Flashback.

Since then I have been thinking about 'what if?' what if she doesn't wake up? What would I do then? I will have to go on with life living with the burden that I didn't even express to her how I felt. I wouldn't be able to see if someone as innocent as her could love a monster like me. Was it possible? All I knew was that I wouldn't be able to live the fact I was too unsure of myself to express my feelings for her. Before I realised it my feet had carried me to Matsuri once again, and even though she was still with in a coma I decided that this maybe the only time I would be able tell her. Walking to her side I made the decision to sit on the edge of her bed instead of the chair, and I bent down so I could talk directly into her ear to give it the best chance of her hearing my confession.

"Matsuri there is something that I wish to tell you"

"…" As I expected no reply, for once I was the one doing all the talking which was out of character for me.

"I don't know how to tell you this, but… do you remember how I said to you that you had to wake up because you're precious to me? Well you are more so then nearly anyone else. You are so innocent, kind hearted and when you smile at me it makes me forget for just a moment that I was a monster, and I feel as if I am something good. Because when you smile at me I feel like the hero you say I am. You chose me as your sensei despite all you heard about me which I wasn't expecting anyone to do, you even saw got kidnapped and saw me kill and still wanted me to train you. I also want to tell you that the way I was avoiding you before…this happened was wrong and it was because I was confused. I was confused about what I was feeling for you, and it wasn't in till I spoke to Kankuro that I realised what those strange feelings were. Those strange feelings were… love. I love you Matsuri and I just wanted to tell you even if you can't hear me…"

And with that I pressed my lips gently upon hers which despite being in a coma were soft and warm against mine. It was such I bizarre feeling like electricity dancing on my lips. It was amazing. Slowly I pulled away from her almost unwillingly, watching her face. My face only got three inches away from her face when her eyes flickered open to look into mine. For that moment I was stunned, my voice was unwilling to work. It was silent in till she spoke my name.

"G-Gaara…"


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Authors note: Please review and give any constructive criticism to help me improve. I hope you enjoy.**

Matsuri P.O.V

_Where am I? I was standing in a place with no light and everything was black, I couldn't tell up from down or right from left. But the most noticeable thing about this place was there was no exit. No way out. No way in. I was here with no escape all alone… It reminded me of the early days during the aftermath of my parent's untimely death. Back then I would just huddle up in a corner from our home, rocking back and forth crying to myself. Back then I would only eat when I needed too, only slept when I was tired enough or when I was willing to brave and face the nightmares. I only existed I didn't live. That is how this place made me feel, like I only existed, the thought was frightening to say the least. But the worst thing about this place was how quiet it was. It was silent. Occasionally I would here a mummer of noise, and sometimes I swore I heard someone saying my name, but no matter how I would run around, shouting back I called never find the owner of the voice._

_I was just so alone I couldn't bare it anymore the silence was driving me crazy. The blackness was just depressing. This place felt like it was sucking my own life force from me and all I wanted to do was scream out, but I know no one will hear me. It was at these times that I wished Lord Gaara was here so badly. Ever since I met him he was always there when I needed him, always there when my will would start to crumble, always there when I was in danger. He may of not been a man of many words, but his very presence was enough to sooth all my worries and redeem my confidence in myself. Lord Gaara is someone that I trust with my fears and my past. He is the only person which is aware of how lonely I felt truly felt when my mum and dad died. I haven't even told Sari yet not because I think she will mock me for it, but I don't think she would fully understand how it felt. Sari mother was the owner of a well known cloths store while her father had recently joined the council (Sari didn't like that, she knew what the council was like) both of them happy and alive. _

_Right now I was just sitting on the floor- at least I think it was the floor- knees pulled into my chest feeling sorry for myself. Suddenly I heard my name again…_

"_**Matsuri**" unlike the many times before hand I was able to identify the one in procession of the voice. It was Lord Gaara's._

_I stood up alert looking around for him his voice became a mummer and I could tell were it was coming from. I was becoming desperate to find him and get out of this place. Tears were stinging my eyes as I was losing all sense of hope, sinking back down burying my head into my hands. I felt defeated. When I heard the mummers stopped, but what I wasn't expecting was the last words I heard from him to be heard clearly…_

"_**I love you Matsuri**" he loved me? He loved me! I was shocked. I needed to get of this place now I needed to tell him how I felt I just couldn't stay here knowing this! But how? Before I knew what was happening there was a blinding white light which engulfed me causing me to full unconscious._

My eyes were still closed but I could feel soft loving lips upon mine. They were so tender and sweet, but it almost felt like a good bye kiss. I felt their lips pull away from my own. It was at this moment that my own eyes flickered open to see the face of the man I loved not far from my own.

"Gaara…" My voice sounded raspy like I haven't spoken in ages, I was in a hospital bed, my body felt stiff and weak from lack of movement. What happened?

"Matsuri" I heard Lord Gaara's voice and he brought his hand up to my cheek so gently like I was going to shatter by his mere touch. He was staring at me with disbelief but I could see a hint of joy in them which did make me smile a little… Did h really say he loved me and did I imagine that kiss? But it all seemed so real.

"L-Lord G-G-Gaara w-what h-happened?" I asked.

"You took a blow to the head when fighting the rouges. You've been in a coma… I, We didn't know if you were ever going to wake up" it looked like it troubled him to say this. Have I put everyone I loved in turmoil over my condition?

"Oh I'm sorry, so I guess that's why everything was black…"

"Hm" Gaara said while looking at me questionably. So I told him my experience to that dark place. I told him about how I heard mummers and how on occasion I heard things clearly, but I left what it was that I heard out. I didn't want to look silly if what I heard was a fabrication of my imagination mixed in with my need for Gaara.

Surprisingly I didn't need to bring up what I heard, because Gaara did.

"Did you hear what I said to you?"

"I um heard something I think was from you, but I don't know if it was what you said or that it was it was just something I wanted to heat"

"And what was that?" why did he have to ask me that? I could literally feel my cheeks burning red. I couldn't see myself but I was guessing I was as red as Gaara's hair.

"Um I thought you said to me iloveyou"

"Hm?" swallowing hard I said the last part slowly not looking at him.

"I thought you told me I love you… but like I said it was probably something that I wanted hear, um not well you um I really really um I, you see I love you and I guess my mind just for that moment made me think I heard that to make me fell better…" by the end of my rambling I was hiding my head under the covers.

"I did" was all that he said to me.

"What?" Slowly I lifted the covers from my face to look at him smiling softly at me as once again he hand was brought up to cup my cheek (which was once again turning red) as he whispers to me.

"Say I love you" I was speechless, I didn't know what to say, so if I heard that right then the kiss… Oh my Gaara kissed me! I was just so shocked, so happy that I couldn't control myself. I forgot about the aching of my muscles and jumped at Gaara wrapping my arms around his neck, then kissing him on the lips. I felt him kiss back and if I only could explain this kiss in one word it would be perfect.

"Ahem" we both pulled apart to see Sari and Kankuro standing at the door way. Sari was trying her best not to giggle but failing miserably and Kankuro was just smirking.

"So you kids having fun?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Authors note: Please review and give any constructive criticism to help me improve. I hope you enjoy.**

Kankuro P.O.V

Both me and Sari met up on the way to Matsuri's room, she was checking on Matsuri while I was going to get my brother, so he could go home and get a decent amount of rest and inform him on the remaining rouge. What we didn't expect to see was Matsuri awake with her and Gaara's face glued together. He finally got himself a girl and nice one at that who loves him for who he is. My little brother was all grown up. I can't wait to see how all his little fan girls will react to their precious Kazakage in a relationship, poor Matsuri is gonna be in for it, and she woken up. Good luck to her. I couldn't help but make a remark about their fun and looks on their faces were just pure gold. They were still in each other's arms, only slightly loosened but their faces were turned from each other. Matsuri's face bright red while Gaara had a barely noticeable pink blush across his cheeks and Sari's giggling turned into a full out laugh.

I respect Sari for how well she was taking this I know that she was one of Gaara's fan girls yet she seems to be honestly happy for her friend. After a few moments of just embarrassing the new couple Sari alerted the doctor of the development of Matsuri's condition, while I was pulling Gaara away from her explaining to him she will still be there tomorrow unless she was allowed to be dispatched. In the end I had to get Matsuri to tell him that she wanted some time with Sari for a little while to get him to leave, and even then it was rather reluctantly. Gaara may like his space and is a man of very few words, but I could see that he was going to very possessive of her. Again Good luck to her.

Finally after all the struggles Gaara and I arrived home and I could finally unwind. Just because Gaara doesn't know how to relax doesn't mean I don't. Both of us changed into our matching black shirt and trousers and I went into the living room to sit in my favourite arm rest with my puppets resting on our coffee table, looking upon them with excitement as I thought of new combination of attacks I could use them for, and reminiscing on the time I used black ant to scare Temari. Now that was hilarious sure for a small while I was in intensive care afterwards, but to see her face it was worth it. I was interrupted when I felt Gaara's stare on the back of my head, I love my little brother but once in a while I found him rather unnerving.

"Can I help you Gaara?"

"You said you had some news on the remaining rouge." Oh I forgot about that.

"Oh yeah well it's gonna be talked about in the neck meeting but I know a guy and he told me about how the last rouge committed suicide he had a note and apparently he would rather die then be captured. Personally I thought that was a little extreme but it's not no skin off my back." Gaara looked as if he was contemplating something then I was shocked at the request he made of me.

"Would you like to play some go with me? This was the first time he ever wanted to do something other then talk with me. Well I say talk, I would talk he would listen.

"Sure little brother."

Sari P.O.V

"So you and the Kazakage eh?" I asked Matsuri with a sly smile as I nudged her shoulder and right on cue her cheeks turn red with a blush. Oh predictable Matsuri.

"Um yeah about that are you ok with that? I mean if your not I guess that well I um could I mean if you really, really, really didn't want me too then you know b-b-break um er up with him…" she really didn't want to say that but it touched me that she would end the relationship with the man she loved just to keep our friendship and make me happy.

"Matsuri don't be silly I'm ok with you two and even if I wasn't I would never want you to do that. Sure I liked him but you know the saying plenty of fish in the sea, although I'm not sure how many fish there could be in the desert but hey who knows." Matsuri started to giggle flashing one of her toothy smiles. It was moments like these that I'm glad we're best friends.

Currently we were at my house. Matsuri was allowed out of the hospital under the condition that she was with somebody house just in case that problems arises due to her recently coming out of a coma.

"So is he good?"

"Who, what?"

"Is Lord Gaara a good kisser?"

"Sari! That's not any of your business…But because you're my best friend it was amazing"

"Well they do say that the kazakage is the best in the village. I guess they don't just mean his ninja skills."

"Sari!" I laughed. Yep I'm Glad that Matsuri and I are best friends. Her reactions are priceless.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything all Characters from this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Authors note: Forgive the major wait, so hope this chapter makes up for it. Please review and give any constructive criticism to help me improve. I hope you enjoy.**

Matsuri P.O.V

Gaara and I have been together for three years now and to be perfectly honest the first week was one of the most awkward of my life. Neither me or him have been in a relationship before so we had no clue on what we were meant to do or how fast things were meant to go, and don't get me started on his fan girls! Both Gaara and I wanted to keep are relationship to ourselves so we had a chance to get used to it ourselves, yet Sari had other ideas. Apparently she heard one of his fan girls- Sora Tamiki- planning on sneaking a peak through the window of Gaara's room, so Sari let it slip that Gaara was dating me… I still get girls glaring at me now.

Kankuro wasn't any help, he thought the whole thing was hilarious as he split his free time watching hide from the fans, and laughing at how Gaara and I were so clueless when it came to relationships, which Gaara just ignores, but me on the other hand turns red with embarrassment. Thank god for Temari, who would smack Kankuro round the head and insult him by saying that all his dates leave by the end of the night and don't come back for seconds, at which Kankuro scowls and walks of muttering to himself. Yet that wasn't the case for long, as a month later both Sari and Kankuro shocked everyone (well me and Temari at least if Gaara was he didn't show it) by announcing that they were together. Believe me I'm happy for them but together they seemed to find more 'ingenious' ways to embarrass me. Both seemed to be as mischievous as the other.

Although being with Gaara is worth all the glare and embarrassment in the world. We don't get to go out much due to missions and his responsibilities as the kazekage, so when we do it's brilliant. On our last date we sat on top of the kazekage tower having a small picnic, while gazing at the stars and the crescent moon. To me it felt like euphoria especially when I started to shiver as the temperature dropped, and Gaara wrapped his arms around me a warm, sweet embrace. Gaara is so affectionate that way. He isn't much of a talker but his actions speak volumes, and I can't say I would have it any other way… Besides I can talk for the both of us.

Once again after a year of being together we were on top of the kazekage tower but instead of sitting down together gazing at the sky, I found myself standing looking down at Gaara who was kneeling on one knee, holding a small elegant red box with the most gorgeous ring in the world. To say I was speechless would be an understatement. My mouth was dry I couldn't speak, my eyes were welling with tears of pure joy, but my lack of response as must of gave Gaara the wrong.

"Too soon? " He asked me and just i looking into his eyes I could tell that he was tearing apart inside even if his beautiful face didn't show it. The eyes are the window to the soul. Yet I still held no control over my words so instead I opted for Gaara's approach to life and decided to make my actions talk for me, as I flung my arms around him, while kissing his lips like many times before, but this one was different as it holds the promise that will last forever…

The wedding was perfect. It was a small wedding with only our closest friends and family attended. Sari was my maid of honour, and Naruto was Gaara's best man, as he was his first friend and Gaara said if it wasn't for how Naruto changed his perceptive of life all those years ago this day would have never came to be. Although it would have been Kankuro, but we decided because I didn't really have any close relatives left that he would walk me down the aisle as he was like a brother to me, also he was one of Gaara's groomsmen. My brides maid were Hinata, Temari and Sakura and Gaara's groomsmen were Gaara's other groomsmen were Yaoki and Korobi. The people who attended our wedding were some of my friends from sunagakure who didn't glare at me, and the kohana 11. I thought at that moment as I walked down the aisle towards Gaara that I couldn't love him more than I did then, but I was wrong. ..

Because today as I lay in a hospital bed sweaty, and exhauster after going through hour upon hour od pain I couldn't be happier, holding on to my little miracle in my arms cradling her close to and close to my heart. At this moment as I hold mine and Gaara's beautiful baby girl- with him gazing lovingly at the two of us – I can honestly say that I there isn't a measurement in the world which is big enough to express my love for this man, my husband and father to my child.

"You know dear you can hold her" I say while smiling to my husband in an attempt to convince him to hold our little treasure. She had his dashing crimson hair ad his nose, and she had my eyes and apparently to Gaara he could tell that she would have my smile. She was the perfect blend of both of us.

"What if I hurt her?"

"Don't be silly of course you won't" Gaara timidly took our daughter into his arms.

Gaara's P.O.V

As I took my new born daughter into my arms and looked at her content face my whole body was washed over by sheer joy. She didn't look upon me with fear or hate. She may have only just came into this world but she accepted me and from the moment Matsuri told me she was pregnant I loved this little girl unconditionally. I knew from holding her that I would protect from all danger, but not as the kazekage, but as this miracle's father. There was only one thing missing from our daughter.

"What shall we name her?" I asked my wife the one responsible for giving birth to the nameless baby in my arms.

"No remember what we said in the earlier months of my pregnancy. I will name the baby if the baby was a boy, you were the one to pick out the girls name" Matsuri reminded me. So I looked down once again staring into my daughters eyes- her mother eyes- thinking back to the time I died, and how if it wasn't for one women I would have remained dead, and at that moment I knew what this little girl would be named after a hero.

"Chiyo. Her name is Chiyo."

"Its perfect"


End file.
